Plans?

I did a lot of thinking today. In between bouts of crying of course, but thinking none the less. I do honestly think I will be ok. It sucks, I hurt, but I will survive. The first thing I want to do is look at getting a job working with Shell, cause the extra pay would be awesome for me to get my debt load down faster. Secondly, and this will take a bit, I want to get really serious about losing weight and getting healthy. It would be awesome to have a work out buddy, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I figure I got more motivation and fewer distractions now. Third, I am going to continue working on my issues; I got some books and such, and I am seeing about getting into therapy again. I am well aware that I am in no condition to be in any kind of meaningful relationship, and while I don’t plan on entering into one for quite some time, I want to be ready for when I do. Which leads me to a point of interest. I emailed the therapist that Jasmin and me were going to, well, end it. He said he wasn’t surprised. He then went on to basically tell me that he recommends I keep working my issues, and hope she does the same. Then apparently, he thinks it wouldn’t be a bad idea if me and her, down the line, made another go. He doesn’t think I should plan on it happening, and I don’t, and he also thinks I would have to move, which I know I would. Its funny, I don’t know. I mean, I am not opposed, once I know we both are better and able. No point in making the same mistakes. I got married too young, too broken, to really be a good consistent partner. When things are good, they were really good; when they were bad, it was misery. Hell, last night was even good, other than the obvious. Our therapist said more than once, and still maintains, that we could be very good for each other in terms of helping each other deal with our problems, physical and mental. That being said, I am not hoping and praying for this outcome. I am not even sure we can be friends yet. We are going to try, but that doesn’t promise success. Jasmin would also have to want to one-day maybe give it another shot, and to do that, she would have to go against the advice of several people. And even then, we are talking years, and this is day one. Who knows what or who will happen? Maybe one or both of us will find some one else, some one better. Maybe some one will die. Bah. Interesting point though, but something to worry about later. It would be nice to be friends though, if nothing else.